Really?? I HATE when people say that. I would rather be totally normal. I wasn't special to begin with and I don't really want to be special now. And with all of these special gifts that God is supposedly showering upon me because I'm such a special, patient and wonderful parent I would like to make some special requests...
Dear God...can you please remove the need to go to the bathroom? It is really difficult to have to go to the bathroom because I can't leave Hailey's side for even a moment without all hell breaking loose. So I figured, since I'm so special and all, that this would be a reasonable request.
Dear God...can you please relieve me of the need for sleep? I know that you give her the ability to sleep every once in a while and I realize that this seems selfish and all but between the stress and the anxiety and the advocating, when she sleeps, I have things to do...So you see, if I didn't have to sleep, I'd be much better at this very special job that you have graced me with.
Dear God...can you please give us the ability to make some money...I'm not asking for millions. My hubby is a hard worker and so am I so when we apply for jobs, I was wondering if you could just give us the opportunity to actually get one...You see, this special job requires us to have money. It is an expensive life and there are things that she needs that we can't get her because of this general lack of money...so just a little opportunity would be great.
Dear God...can you please shower down an extra dose of patience...just a little. As she is getting older, her temper is becoming shorter and shorter which is making my patience supply run low...just a little bit of patience...doesn't it come in a fairy dust bag or something? I promise I will save it for when absolutely necessary like when she won't stop pulling her sisters hair and laughing hysterically.
Dear God...can you please give me the ability to shower, shave my legs, do my make up, get dressed and do my hair in 1 minute flat? I mean come on, that is the time frame that I am expected to do it in so I'm sure that this is not a surprise that I'd be asking for this...I am special after all.
I think that is it...the list isn't too long. Although if you are feeling rather generous, I could use a pause button every once in a while or a mute button to mute all of the well meaning comments that come my way.
Thank you!
I'm with you. I don't wanna be special. I want normal, every day, average, ordinary. Let me know if you get any of the things on your list, I'll be sure and make out my own.
ReplyDeleteTOTALLY AGREE!!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is how I see it.... It's notnso much that you are special but as much as you are one of the few who are fully qualified with the tools. I mean let's face it, the average normal human being wouldn't be able to do what you do. I know that to be true for my sister, and having a learning disability I know that there are things that keep me from being as fully qualified like you. Not only did God entrust you with the sacrid duty of being a mother, but being a mother to a child with special needs. He knew that you could fufill that mission 100% and doing it with love and patience and success. He knew you were one of the few who could do him the favo of watching over one of his very important children!!! That is hard I am not doubting that at all, and I want you to know that people appreciate you for it, and mostly that God appreciate and values it, more then any of us could know. Now if I have crossed the line I hope you will be able to mute this comment. But at fist I had no idea what to say and closed out the window. While I was getting ready for bed these thoughts came filtering in, so I knew I had to get back her to share my thoughts with you. I hope it helps!! And I hope that the things are your wish list will manifest!
ReplyDeleteIn order for me not to get totally depressed, I think to myself that there HAS to be a reason why I was picked out of 50,000 people to have a child with CDC. Chances that are usually reserved for people winning the lottery. My first born children were twins, and my second pregnancy was twins also. However, for some crazy reason, several weeks into my second pregnancy, one child miscarried, and the child with CDC survived. I felt like I did something wrong and karma was paying me back. I have to accept that I am a good person and sometimes good things happen to good people. I HAVE to believe that there is a reason why my daughter was given to me. I haven't discovered all the reasons yet, but they seem to slowly be creeping into my conscious.
ReplyDeleteTo be blunt, it really sucks for you that you live in an area where the school system tries to NOT help special needs children. I can NOT imagine having to fight tooth and nail to get the services that your daughter is entitled to. From your description in previous posts, it seems like the services that are offered aren't the best. Not to be too "presumable" about you, but this must account for almost half of your frustrations. I don't have to fight that battle b/c our school system is pretty wonderful-so I can't pretend that I know what you are going thru.
I said it in my previous comment, keep fighting the good fight. You seem to be doing a great job so far.
This is Awesome! I feel exactly this way, too. Nothing pisses me off more than people telling me how strong I am (no, I'm not. I just keep waking up in the morning.), and how God doesn't give us more than we can handle, thatvwe were chosen. No, I think this was a random chromosomal anomaly and there's no great lesson or reason this happened to our family. We have 3 month old twin girls that both have CDC, lucky us.
ReplyDeleteThat is just how I feel!!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't have said it better!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove it!!!!!!
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ReplyDeleteIf you still have your child and haven't walked off and let him/her in a home somewhere or just left because you couldn't take it anymore then you are special. I know of children that their parents abandoned them because they were not perfect. I even visited a grave yard for children that have no family to bury them. So don't say your not special!!! I disagree.... God gave you that extra something to cope and love that sweet child. I was raised with a special needs brother and he was special too!!
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone! I think I'll just keep adding to the list of requests :-)!! At least the humor in it all keeps me laughing!
ReplyDelete