I used to be someone else. I use to find jobs easily and have a passion. I use to do more than just this.
Don't get me wrong. I love being a mom and I love being a wife but staying at home and being a stay at home mommy was not in the plans for me.
None of this was.
I started looking for a new job in October 2008 after the yacht chartering disaster job and couldn't find one. A combination of no longer having a current work reference and the shit tanked economy and it was a no go for me. I interviewed...a lot. And I failed...a lot. I always made it to the last round of interviews. You have no idea how many times I heard "we are going a different direction".
I came to terms with the fact that I wasn't going to find a job in the current economy so I just stopped looking. I couldn't take the rejection anymore. It was awful...over and over and over again.
But I decided a few months ago to try again...and I got an interview and then invited to the last round of interviews. Of course it was between me and 2 other people.
I got the news just now. And the woman used the same words "we are going a different direction".
I hate looking for a job. It is devastating. I can hear everyone's positive support words now, you'll get the next one, keep trying...etc etc etc. But I can't. I'm not that strong.
These are the days that I hate. The ones where everything is plugging along just fine and then something pushes you off the ledge you were teetering on. I need a passion. I need something.
This sucks. I'm sorry you're going through it. I won't give you the words you don't want to hear. Just know that one other person in this worlk agrees that it sucks to hear something like that over and over again. And I'm sorry you're hearing.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same boat... I never fully realized what being a SAHM meant... I need a greater purpose in life.
ReplyDeleteI could go back to work in an entry level position no problem. The fact is though that I would be paying to work with daycare for Aubrey and care for Hailey. Not to mention all of her medical appointments and having her out of school right now. Maybe it is just the world's way of telling me that I couldn't handle a job anyways. It doesn't make me feel very good about myself though. It's more than a little ego slamming to get so close so many times and get rejected. I need a hobby or at least a friend close by. I fell like my whole social life is in cyber space...there is something very unhealthy about that.
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