The ponytail

We deal with some pretty crazy behaviors from Hailey in the morning...The more we react, the stronger and crazier they become.  So we try to ignore them the best we can..."WE" meaning the adults in the household (oh wait, I'm the only adult here 4 days a week!!).

Try getting a 4 year old to ignore her 10 year old sister pulling her hair or touching her arm or taking her juice or biting her eggs or snatching her teddy...or generally driving her crazy.

It is IMPOSSIBLE and the more the 4 year old screams, the more the 10 year old does...A crazy crazy start to the morning.

So I am trying something new...It is working so far although I have no illusions that it will be effective more than a couple of weeks.

Hailey is obsessed with having a ponytail in her hair.  Not a clip, not a bow, not a headband, not two ponytails or a braid...ONE PONYTAIL.  And for a little lady who cannot speak, she sure does know how to get that point across.  She holds her one finger up (very strongly I might add...which basically is yelling in sign language) and then points to the top of her head.

So I have officially made the ponytail a REWARD.  When we go downstairs for breakfast, I say "if you keep your hands to yourself, you can have a ponytail for school!".  And she claps and laughs and giggles.

So last week marked the first day with no ponytail...she started with a gentle touch on her sisters leg, to which the 4 year old screams "DON'T TOUCH ME!" (remember when you were little and your little sister or brother poked their finger as close as they could to you without actually touching you and they said things like "I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you"...well it is pretty much like that)  Then I say, Hailey hands to yourself so you can have your ponytail.  So then she ups the anty...I turn my back to put the pan in the dishwasher and she snatches the 4 year olds hair...(ugggg...I hate to have her not earn her reward).  More screaming from the little one and I say, ok...no ponytail.  You can try again tomorrow.

Oh my, the tears that came from her little eyes were heartbreaking...she cried and cried and put her little finger up and pointed to the top of her head and tried to guide my hand to her head.  It was so sad.  I felt awful.  But I held my ground (all while the 4 year old is behind me saying, things like "you shouldn't have touched me"...which by the way is NOT helping!!).

No Ponytail.

The world was over for her that morning.

I told the teacher when we got to school about the reward and asked her to write a note if she kept her hands to herself and I would do her ponytail after school.

And she did keep her hands to herself...all day.  So she got her ponytail...and we had a very peaceful few mornings where I didn't even have to give her the one warning.

She tried it again today and I was consistent.  She went with no ponytail...

I guess that we shall see if this works for longer than a week...I hope that we make it awhile because I'm running out of ideas here...

Plus, I really like her hair in a ponytail!!

The intersection

My husband and I went on a big date Saturday night to....(drum roll please)...TARGET!!  OK OK OK, well we went out to dinner afterwards and to a movie so it was a big date night but the highlight (for me at least) was Target!

I love Target.  I love love love love it.  For whatever reason I would rather wander around there than anywhere else.   I like to shop but it's not about shopping.   Weird, I know.  Their marketing department is literally GENIUS!!

So yes, back to the point...Hubby and I had just left Target with a new bathroom floor mat and a shower curtain (love love love)...and we are at the intersection and we see an accident.  Not a really bad one, just a fender bender...but an accident none the less.  And he starts telling me that he saw a news report and apparently that is the most dangerous intersection in the county to drive through.  Scary.  Especially since I drive through it every day about 5 times (Hailey to school and back, Aubrey to school, grocery store and of course, Target).

This weekend there was an accident on the highway where a drunk driver was going 100 mph the wrong way on the freeway and hit a tow truck driver head on.  The tow truck driver is a very good friend of my brothers and ended up (thank god) surviving with only a few scrapes and bruises...(side note, the drunk driver did not make it).

Hubby was home for 5 days and I hadn't driven myself in awhile until this morning...And I found when I got into the car that I was suddenly frozen.  All I could think about was driving through that intersection to drop Hailey off at school...What if someone hit us?  What if there was a drunk driver?  What if it was a teenager not paying attention.  My mind started running away with me.  I had to sort of snap myself out of it in order to get on the road.

The whole way to Hailey's school I was thinking about how sad it would have been if I let my fear grip me and not move forward.

There are so many intersections in our lives...Turn left or right?  Go straight or make a u-turn?  I may not know exactly where I'm headed but I do know that I will always have choices...(and also that there will always be a Target on some corner coming up!!!).

Maybe the tears will end.

Sometimes it's just that kind of day.  Things aren't going right & you just want to pack up and take off...for a year or so.

Maybe in a year everything will magically be fixed.  Maybe the fighting can end.  Maybe the tears will stop.  Maybe I could just blink and go back.

Back to Zach's first bike ride...

2000

 Or Hailey's first time up on her hands & knees


2003

Or when my Grandpa was alive...


2003

Or when we went to San Diego...



2005

  Or when Hailey was just learning to stand...
 

2004

 Or when my cousin got married...

2005

 Or Aubrey's Christmas photos...

2008

But how far would I go back if I could?  Any of these places were changing moments in my life and in my children's lives.  Change any of it and you change it all...and I wouldn't change it all...