This is a hard road to travel...but it's my road!

I accept that most people are trying to be nice to me when they give me advice or “the nod”. You know “the nod”. The one that says, oh man, your life sucks. I feel so sorry for you. I pity you.

I hate “the nod”.

I know that they are trying to be nice but really, I don’t want your pity. My life doesn’t suck and I really don’t want people to feel sorry for me. I have a great life. And for all of the obstacles that my children and I have been thrown in our lives, we are all pretty well adjusted and happy.

Here is what happened last month when Hailey got out of the hospital…

I was dropping Aubrey off at preschool. I have to bring Hailey now to drop her off because Hailey can’t go to school right now…to make matters worse, I have to have Hailey in the wheelchair because they don’t allow siblings into the classroom and they are making a special exception for me. The problem is that the wheelchair ramp is located on the opposite side of the building than the main door that Aubrey must go into to shake the teacher’s hand in order to start the day. So I’ve been walking Aubrey to the front door and then after she is in the class, I have to go around the back and bang on the door at the wheelchair ramp (because of course it is f*ing locked everyday!!), then someone opens the door and Hailey and I go in to sign Aubrey in. I have asked several times if there is anyway that they could just keep the wheelchair door unlocked during this time but nooooooo…So we go through this during drop off.

So most of the preschoolers stare at her because of the tube now so I have gotten down on my knees and said hello to them and explained to them that it helps her to eat right now. It is all very matter of fact and the four year olds accept it and today (day 2 of this routine) only 2 stared instead of all 20 of them…(definite improvement!).

So I am on my knees next to her telling a little boy about the tube and his mom says, “wow this cold really knocked her out!”…and I said “yah, we were in the hospital for 6 days”…and she says, “yah, my three got it too”…and I said, “oh that’s too bad, I hope they are feeling better”…and she says, “oh yah, it only lasted 2 days”…and I said, “that’s great. I have to go because I have to feed her every 2 & ½ hours so I pretty much feed her and then turn around and feed her again”…and she says, (yes she really says this…quite literally…and I am still giggling because of the absurdity of it) “I know, it is so hard to be a mom, I am so busy all of the time, I barely have enough time to get my nails done most of the time”.

What I wanted to say was…really??? Are you crazy? I don’t have enough time to sleep. I ate dinner last night at 10 pm because I was feeding her during our family dinner time. I haven’t eaten anything all day because I don’t really want to eat in front of her. I just spent 5 nights in a hospital watching my daughter go through hell…AND YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO GET YOUR NAILS DONE?????

Now, I know that she wasn’t being cruel or mean. I know that she was trying to be nice and to her a life with 3 normal developing children ages 11, 8 and 4 is complicated and hard. I understand that I haven’t walked in her shoes or anything.

That is why I just said “oh yah” in response and then giggled my way back to the car. I don’t want her to have to walk in my shoes and to tell you the truth, I don’t really want to walk in hers.

My life is hard. This is a hard road to travel but it’s my road. That doesn’t mean I can’t laugh or get angry when people say really silly things to me.